The competition is heating up so this is our last offer. You can have Alberta but we need to get something in return. Not much, mind you, but we can't give it away for free.
It occurs to me that we could kill two birds with one stone. You get the enormous advantage of having a province where everyone loves Crocodile Dundee and you get rid of New Zealand. We'll make a one-for-one swap; New Zealand for Alberta.
Now, I realize the Kiwis have some quaint notions about being an independent country but I don't think that should prevent you from giving it away.
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We let the Kiwis go about their business, and they promise not to invade us. How about we give away Fiji and Tahiti instead?
Hmmm ... Tahiti sounds like a possibility but the recent military coup in Fiji is a problem. Canada's army isn't strong enough to take on Commodore Frank Bainimarama and his troops. They have a tank.
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