Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Timmy's Takes Manhattan

Tim Hortons is opening 13 stores in Manhattan and several more in Brooklyn. The first nine stores started serving coffee and donuts yesterday. Click here for a photo of New Yorkers lining up at the Penn Station store. The story even made the New York Times.

This is all part of a secret plot by Canadians to take over the best parts of the USA. (There are no plans to open stores in Texas.) Once we succeed we will impose universal health care1 and ban Starbucks.

1. Also known as socialized medicine.


  1. It's part of the plan for Canadian World Domination:

  2. The Evidence Keeps Mounting

    LincRNAs serve as genetic air-traffic controllers
    Study helps answer the question, 'What does this new class of RNA genes do?'

    BOSTON – Earlier this year, a scientific team from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC) and the Broad Institute identified a class of RNA genes known as large intervening non-coding RNAs or "lincRNAs," a discovery that has pushed the field forward in understanding the roles of these molecules in many biological processes, including stem cell pluripotency, cell cycle regulation, and the innate immune response.

    But even as one question was being answered, another was close on its heels: What, exactly, were these mysterious molecules doing?

    They now appear to have found an important clue. Described in the July 14 issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) the scientific team from BIDMC and the Broad Institute shows that lincRNAs – once dismissed as "genomic junk" – have a global role in genome regulation, ferrying proteins to assist their regulation at specific regions of the genome.

    "I like to think of them as genetic air traffic controllers," explains co-senior author John Rinn, PhD, a Harvard Medical School Assistant Professor of Pathology at BIDMC and Associate Member of the Broad Institute. "It has long been a mystery as to how widely expressed proteins shape the fate of cells. How does the same protein know to regulate one genomic location in a brain cell and regulate a different genomic region in a liver cell? Our study suggests that in the same way that air traffic controllers organize planes in the air, lincRNAs may be organizing key chromatin complexes in the cell."

    Read the est here:

  3. Ha! The Canadians have fallen for our trap! Before long, Manhattan Timmys will be seving organic pizza, sushi and Perrier like every other food shop in New York and soon they will be assimilated. From there the infection will spread, eventually reaching across the border and all Canadians become latte-sipping, New York Times reading, metro-chic urbanites who cannot get anywhere unless a taxi cab is in sight!

    Then we start charging Manhattan-level rents up there and wind up foreclosing on the whole country.

  4. The following inevitably happens when I go to Timmy's:

    Me: could I have 4 Fruit Explosion muffins.

    Cashier: Sorry, we're out.

    Me: Could I have 4 Blueberry muffins instead?

    Cashier: Let me check. Sorry, we only have 2 blueberry muffins.

    Me: OK, can I have those and 2 Lemon/cranberry muffins.

    At this point I am handed 3 muffins.

    Their muffins are quite ince - and cheap. But for f's sake, why is it so hard to make enough of them???