Saturday, June 07, 2008

How to Activate Your Junk DNA!

 
I suppose it was inevitable. Sooner or later a private company would figure out how to activate your junk DNA and turn you into a super being. At a price, of course.

A company called Mastery Life A.C. and/or DNA Perfection has learned the trick [Unleash Your Genetic Potential NOW!]. What you need to do is establish a mental connection to someone named Toby Alexander—this is done by mental telepathy. Your brainwave frequency will "entrain" to his and that's all it takes. Naturally it takes more than one session to achieve the best results. Four at least. The cost is $100 per session for a total minimum cost of only $400. (You can use PayPal.)

How does it work? Well, I must confess that the biology is too complicated for me so let me just quote from the website.
Most people know that DNA is the 'blueprint of life' and is located in every cell of the body. In addition to each chromosome's 2 strand double helix of DNA, there are an additional 10 etheric strands of DNA available to each human, which have been dormant since the beginning of recorded history. Each additional strand possesses attributes that permit the individual to perform greater human accomplishments. Scientists acknowledge that we currently only use 3% of our current 2 strand DNA. Thus we live in a society where people are sick, unhappy, stressed out, create wars, have difficulty experiencing love, and are totally disconnected with the universe. Most people have to meditate for many years just to have a so-called 'mystical' experience, that's how disconnected we are now. Imagine activating 100% of your 2 strand DNA, PLUS 10 additional strands! You will go from using 10% of your brain to becoming a multi-dimensional being with psychic, telepathic, and manifestation abilities beyond anything you've ever dreamed of. Plus, you will stop the aging process and actually start to rejuvenate to look and feel YOUNGER. This is the Original Divine Blueprint, what man USED to be. It has been written that Jesus had 12 strands of DNA activated. There have been children born throughout the history of humanity to raise the frequency of the planet that have more than 2 strands of DNA active - they are known as Indigo children. These are the incredibly intelligent, loving, and amazing children that are being mistakenly diagnosed as having A.D.D. because they are too smart to pay attention in class. Your DNA is your blueprint of life and is what controls every single function inside each of your cells. If you change your DNA, you really will change your life.
I strongly believe that George Hull David Hannum, in his famous comment to P.T. Barnum, grossly underestimated the number of suckers born every minute.


[Hat Tip: New Scientist, Feedback, My 17-23, 2008 p. 64]

8 comments:

  1. This is superb.

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  2. ObNitpick: According to that piece it was David Hannum not George Hull.

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  3. What the hell??? Um, the term "junk DNA" means we do not know what it even does! If we could "activate" it...(LOL)...that would assume we knew what it did exactly.

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  4. I think it's a toss up between that one and this one as to most ridiculous DNA related nonsense:

    http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2007/01/08/01288.html

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  5. This guy is so lame.
    1. Indigo Children as ADD-- so 1998.
    2. Indigo Children as autistic kids-- current fad
    3. Indigo Children as autistic kids may be a fad now, but April Children are haut couture.

    --ERV, April Child from outer space

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  6. Dude, you're so far behind the times. This is old news. ;-) See:

    http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2006/11/your_friday_dose_of_woo_activate_your_dn_1.php

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  7. Oops, munged the URL. Let's try this instead.

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  8. So these extra 10 strands of 'junk dna' bring the total percentage of junk DNA in our genome to what now? :-)

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