Grandpa Burger

 
When I was (much) younger I used to order the Teen Burger when we went to the A&W. Even after I stopped being a teenager I still got the Teen Burger 'cause I wasn't really eligible for any of the others.

While we were living in Europe there were no A&W's in our part of the world so I didn't have a problem choosing what to order. By the time we returned to Canada, Jane had been born and I could order the Papa Burger without feeling guilty.¹

Here I am at the the A&W yesterday, trying out the Grandpa Burger. Technically, I won't be officially eligible for the Grandpa Burger until next January. Coincidentally, that's when my daughter Jane and her husband Michael will be able to buy the Mama and Papa Burgers.

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1. I sometimes cheated and ordered the teenburger anyway.

[Hat Tip: A&W Grandpa Burger commercial.]

Science Scouts

 
Join Science Scouts and win cool badges! In case you don't know, the complete offical name of Science Scouts is "Order of the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique." (They're lenient about the physique.)

This is one of my favorite badges. All you have to do is Science with no conceivable application (known among friends as the "useless" badge). I've done lots of that kind of science. I'm also eligible for the next level badge— for science that not only has no conceivable application but also isn't even interesting to fellow scientists.

This one's quite ordinary. It's the cloner badge. You can earn it just by cloning something. An advanced version is coming out next year. It's for people who have cloned something that terrorized a small village.

I'm really proud of this one. It's the "somewhat confused as to what scientific field I actually belong to" badge. When you put it on your CV you can refer to it by its more formal name: the transdiscplinary, interdiscplinary, multidisciplinary, or intradisciplinary (TIMI) badge.

Here are some of my other badges ...

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[Hat Tip: Eva Amsen]

Nobel Laureate: Michael Behe

 

The Nobel Prize in Biochemistry 2009.

"for his contributions to understanding complex biological systems"


Michael Behe (1952 - ) wins the Nobel Prize in Biochemistry for his amazing work on complex biological systems, especially the concept of irreducible complexity.

Beginning with the publication of his first book, Darwin's Black Box, Behe has written numerous articles on the organization of molecular machines such as the snare complex of Mus musculus and the bacterial flagellum. He has shown that these systems exhibit a fundamental property that previous biochemists overlooked—they are so well integrated that their origin cannot be explained by the older naturalistic theory of natural selection.

His later work, The Edge of Evolution, is a seminal contribution to modern evolutionary theory. In that book he explains how previous versions of evolution are incapable of explaining the origin of protein-protein interaction sites.

The presentation speech highlights the importance of this work.
THEME:
Nobel Laureates

The development of protein features, such as protein-protein binding sites, that require the participation of multiple amino acid residues is a profound, fundamental problem that has stumped the evolutionary biology community until the present day (and continues to do so, as I explain below). It is a fundamental problem because all proteins exert their effects by physically binding to something else, such as a small metabolite or DNA or other protein, and require multiple residues to do so. The problem is especially acute for protein-protein interactions, since most proteins in the cell are now known to act as teams of a half-dozen or more, rather than individually. Yet if one can’t explain how specific protein-protein interactions developed, then it is delusional to claim that we can explain how anything that depends on them developed, such as the molecular machinery of the cell. It’s like saying “we understand perfectly well how a car could evolve; we just don’t know how the pieces could get fit together.” If such a basic requirement for putting together complex systems is not understood, nothing is understood. Keep this in mind the next time you hear a blithe Darwinian tale about the undirected evolution of the cilium or bacterial flagellum.

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Posted on April 1st, 2009.

The images of the Nobel Prize medals are registered trademarks of the Nobel Foundation (© The Nobel Foundation). They are used here, with permission, for educational purposes only.

Shepherd's Pie

 
John Wilkins knows about Real Meat Pies.

Janet Stemwedel has a recipe for Vegetarian Shepherd's Pie.

VEGETARIAN SHEPHERD'S PIE!!!! Gimme a break.

Janet, what do you think those sheps are herding out there in the fields? Tofu?

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Salmon with Peas on Toast

 
When my kids were growing up I used to make them one of my favorite meals—Mom's Creamed Salmon on Toast. We usually enjoyed it when Ms. Sandwalk was away from home.

Now that they are adults, my children never lose an opportunity to make fun of Dad's cooking and how they were forced to eat salmon when Mom was away.

Now the joke's on them ... or at least on my son, because ...

Teenage boys who eat fish at least once a week achieve higher intelligence scores. Looks like boys get smart by eating salmon. It explains why my son is so smart. It also explains why my daughter never appreciated salmon and peas on toast. It doesn't work on girls.¹

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1. I don't believe the study. It's ridiculous to think that eating fish is all it takes to make you smarter. If that were true then Newfoundlanders would be smarter than cowboys or vegetarians ... hmmmmm, come to think of it ....

P.S. Just in case there is someone out there who doesn't get my sense of humor, here's a link to a posting about my daughter [Another Dr. Moran]. And just so he doesn't feel left out, here's a link to my son's website [Gordon Moran].

International Women's Day

 
Yesterday (Sunday) was International Women's Day.

Ms. Sandwalk and I celebrated by buying a new monitor for her computer. The monitor was designed and marketed by an American company and assembled in Asia (probably by women) using parts that were produced in five or six other countries.

Hey, don't knock it! What did you do to celebrate international women yesterday?

Apparently men in Russia celebrate a little differently.

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I Hate Cilantro/Coriander!

 
I'm one of those people who hate the taste of coriander (called cilantro in most of North America). It's mostly Chinese parsley (Coriandrum sativum L.) but there are similar American plants that taste just as bad. Coriander/cilantro completely ruins any food that it touches.

From time to time I encounter others with the same reaction. I was told that about 5% of the population doesn't like the taste. As a general rule, they seem to be far more intelligent than cilantro lovers, but there are exceptions. :-)

Today I discovered that we're not alone. There's an entire website devoted to eliminating coriander/cilantro from human food [IHateCilantro.com].

Supporting the Fight Against Cilantro!

Cilantro. The most offensive food known to man.

Welcome! You are visiting the web site of a growing community of cilantro haters. We are, however, rational people. In fact, we are the most rational people on earth. No normally functioning human being would ever in a lifetime consider cilantro edible.

It's the reason you are here. Please browse the site in support of your anti-cilantro confederates and help spread the word any way you can:

I wonder if hating cilantro is genetic? Is there an allele that affects a particular taste receptor? If so, I wonder about the adaptive significance of the hate cilantro allele. There must be one .....

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[Hat Tip: Josh Rosenau]

Whatever Happened to Common Sense?

 
Steve Mirsky, writing in Scientific American, tells a story that we can all relate to [The Unkempt Results of Post-9/11 Airport Security Rules].

Lewis Carroll’s Alice would have had trouble distinguishing reality from Wonderland had she been with me on the Sunday after Thanksgiving as I watched a TSA officer confiscate my father’s aftershave at the airport in Burlington, Vt. It was a 3.25-ounce bottle, clearly in violation of the currently permissible three-ounce limit for liquids. Also clear was the bottle, which was obviously only about a quarter full. So even the members of some isolated human populations that have never developed sophisticated systems for counting could have determined that the total amount of liquid in the vessel was far less than the arbitrarily standardized three ounces. But the TSA guy took the aftershave, citing his responsibility to go by the volume listed on the label. (By the way, the three-ounce rule is expected to be phased out late in 2009. Why not tomorrow? Because of the 300-day-rules-change rule, which I just made up.)

Feeling curiouser, I did a gedankenexperiment: What if the bottle had been completely empty—would he have taken it then? No, I decided. When empty, the bottle becomes just some plastic in a rather mundane topological configuration. Not to mention that if you really banned everything with the potential to hold more than three ounces of liquid, you couldn’t let me have my shoes back. You also couldn’t allow me to bring my hands onboard. I kept these thoughts to myself, of course, because I wanted to fly home, not spend the rest of the day locked in a security office explaining what a gedankenexperiment was.

I first commented on what I used to call “the illusion of security” in this space in July 2003, after attending a conference on freedom and privacy. We heard the story of an airline pilot who had his nail clippers snatched away by the TSA just before boarding his plane. He then walked into a cockpit equipped with an ax.

Let's think a little more about the gedankenexperiment. If the bottle is really empty then you probably would have discarded it so the empty bottle isn't a good test. What if it only has a drop of aftershave in it? That will be barely visible to the airport security guys but it might give you one more day of smelling nice.

Would they confiscate that? Would they have to open the bottle to see if there was a drop of aftershave in it? What if the drop evaporated during the inspection? Then the bottle would be empty and you wouldn't want to keep it but the security guys won't confiscate an empty bottle. Can you make them confiscate the bottle if they empty it?

What if the bottle has about 2 ounces of aftershave and you pour it into your hands? You now have an empty bottle—which they won't confiscate—and no container with liquid in it, unless they count your hands. What will they do now?

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Hint

 
In my family we don't give gifts at Christmas (but we do have a Christmas tree and we do celebrate the season). We stopped giving gifts when the children were teenagers and it has eliminated a lot of the stress at this time of year. It also means that we don't have to pretend to like the cheesy presents that we used to get from distant relatives and acquaintances. Not to mention the cheesy ones from spouses.¹

However .... if anyone wants to give me a non-Christmas present just for fun, here's an excellent choice: Noah's Ark.


It would look really nice on my office bookshelf. Thanks to PZ Myers for finding this gem. Don't bother getting one for him, he doesn't seem to appreciate the quality workmanship and the attention to detail.

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1. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Dancing to the Music

 
I have a confession to make. Every Monday night Ms. Sandwalk and I go dancing. We are taking beginner's social dancing at the local community center. This is the fifth time we've taken the beginners' classes.

After the dancing lessons we go with our friends to the pub and eat honey garlic chicken wings and French fries covered with cheese and mayonnaise. Alcohol is consumed.¹

I'm finally getting the hang of the waltz. From time to time I can do the steps without counting out loud. There is, however, one small problem. According to Ms. Sandwalk I don't keep time to the music. Apparently I have no idea how to coordinate the steps and the beats. I'll have to take her word for it 'cause it seems okay to me.

As if I didn't feel bad enough, psa over on Canadian Cynic publishes a video proving that even birds can do it [Go Parrot, Go!].


This is really embarrassing.

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1. It may sound like a bribe but I assure you that I would undoubtedly be going to the dance lessons even if we didn't visit the pub afterward. (Like I have a choice?)

Serious Question?

 
Nanopublic posted one of the covers of Onion Weekender with the lead story They tried to teach my baby science. Scary stuff.

If you follow the link to the Onion website you'll find all sorts of interesting Christmas gifts. If you're into giving things for Christmas just for the safe of buying presents then this is the place for you. I especially like this T-shift (below) that asks a very profound question.

I don't know the answer. I think you can start teaching them about Jesus when they are still kittens but chances are they'll never give up the idea that cats are the true gods.

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I Hate Ironing

 
But these guys seem to like it. What am I missing?

I've been following this sport for several years and I still don't get how they do it. Maybe I need a new iron?

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[Hat Tip: Canadian Cynic, of course.

Never Let Your Gas Tank Get Below Half Full

 
Friday's Urban Legend: True

How many of you have heard the story that you should always drive your car with the gas tank as full as possible? According to many, you should never let the gas in your tank fall below the half full mark on your gas gauge.

You probably thought this was a tale told by elderly wives—with apologies to old men who also tell tales.

Well, it turns out that there is actual, scientific, evidence to support this warning. Cliff Allen did the experiment according to the Sept. 13, 2008 issue of New Scientist [Petrol Gauge Challenge].

SLIGHTLY more practical routes to fuel economy occurred to Cliff Allen when he noticed that, according to his petrol gauge, the fuel in the top half of his tank lasted considerably longer than the bottom half. As any Feedback reader (and possibly only a Feedback reader) would, he investigated. Systematically.

Over several months he recorded the distances travelled using the fuel from the top and bottom halves. The average for the top was 400 kilometres (250 miles) and for the bottom a mere 300 kilometres (185 miles). Since then, he writes, "of course I have only used the top of my tank and have consistently achieved around 250 miles - I'm not stupid!"

Cliff was obviously keen to discuss this, at length, with his learned friends, "some of whom gained General Certificate of Secondary Education qualifications" at age 14. He was "mostly appalled at their incredulity and lack of interest".

However, his friend Alan suggested that the fact that petrol always comes out of the bottom of the tank causes it to use more petrol so we might benefit from turning the tank upside-down. John suggested the increased efficiency might be due to the height of the fuel, so the tank should be put on the roof. Mostyn proposed putting a brick in the tank, as this apparently works very well for saving water in toilet cisterns. Tony wants to make the top of the tank larger than the bottom, to increase the proportion of its volume at the top, and thinks a carrot shape would be optimal.

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P.S. for the irony impaired.

Asses on Panda's Thumb

 
It's probably not a coincidence that Panda's Thumb published a photo of a pair of asses today. See them at Equus asinus.

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Nigeria Has Competition

 
I just got this email message and I thought I'd share it with the rest of you. All my money is tied up in deals with Nigerians and investments in Viagra so I can't take advantage of this fabulous offer.

I expect to be flush with cash by next week because I just won the European lottery but I'll be spending most of it to enlarge one of my vital organs.

Hello Pal,

I hope my email fine you well. I am in need of your assistance. My name is Sgt. Jarvis Reeves. I am an American soldier serving in the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, we have just been posted out of Iraq and to return in a short while. My colleague and I need your help to transfer out the sum of Twenty Five Mllion U.S Dollars ($25 MUSD). If you are interested I will furnish you with more details

As awair your response.
Email:sgt.jr@hotmail.com

Yours,
Sgt. Jarvis Reeves

God Bless America!!

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Have Fun on Voting Day

 
Here's a video to keep you happy as you hold your nose and go to the polls (in Canada). There's a metaphor in it somewhere but I can't for the life of me figure it out. Maybe it has something to do with where my vote is going?

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[Hat Tip: psa at Canadian Cynic. Jennifer Smith at Runesmith's Canadian Content had the same idea I had about linking the video to voting day.]

Squirrel Smasher Ready to Go on Dec. 19, 2008

 
This just in from BBspot.

Dallas, TX – Scientists from the Evolutionary Acceleration Research Institute (EARI) announced that the first test of the Giant Animal Smasher (GAS) will begin on December 19, 2008, the 41st anniversary of the premiere of Dr. Dolittle.

Squirrel SmasherDr. Thomas Malwin, head of the research project, said, "The first test runs will only accelerate microscopic life-forms like bacteria and viruses to high speeds, but theoretically the GAS can handle animals as large as squirrels, hence the squirrel smasher moniker."

Biologists from around the globe hope the GAS will unlock the secrets of the so-called "Darwin particle" that could unlock the secrets to life.

"If we discover the Darwin particle we could possibly create new life-forms, or accelerate evolution to unimaginable levels," said Malwin.

Go to BBspot for more information.

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[Hat Tip: John Hawks]

Darwin vs. Newton

 
I claimed that Charles Darwin is the greatest scientist who ever lived. slc posted a comment on Carl Zimmer at Chautauqua.

According to Neil Tyson, Issac Newton was the greatest scientist who ever lived. Dr. Tyson, who is about the size of an NFL linebacker, is not a man I would care to have a disagreement with.

I don't want to engage in a wrestling match with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Surely we can settle this issue peacibly?

DeGrasse Tyson is an astronomer. What would you expect him to say? Astronomers and physicists don't understand biology and they don't understand that biology is much harder than physics. Darwin is the better scientist because his subject was much harder.

Let me give you an example. Back in 1687 people didn't know very much so it was pretty easy to come up with some simple laws. Gravity was kinda obvious, don't you think? Getting hit on the head by an apple doesn't compare with collecting data by traveling about the world for five years on a small boat.

How many different laws can there be? We know that f (force) has to equal something. Does it equal m²b? Nope, that doesn't work. How about a-m. Nope. Let's try m/a ... the experiments rule that out as well. Hmmm ... maybe it's f = ma? Viola! Newton just discovered the second law of motion. Now let's invent calculus to make life miserable for undergraduates.

What about those nasty little exceptions where the planets don't seem to obey the laws? No problem, God did it.

Newton didn't even write in English! This is DeGrasse Tyson's example of the greatest scientist who ever lived?

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[Image Comment: The woman in the photograph is the only living descendant of Jesus. How appropriate that she's almost standing on the tomb of Charles Darwin!]

The End Is Nigh

 

The Large Hadron Collider is due to be activated on September 10th. Estimates on how long it will take to create a black hole vary from microseconds to about 24 hours. Let's be optimistic and assume that it will take until Thursday morning (September 11th).

I figure the airport (Cointrin) will be sucked in before noon and Geneva should be swallowed up by at least 2pm. France will be gone by 4pm and we in Toronto will encounter the event horizon at midnight.

The good news is that I won't have to buy Ms. Sandwalk a birthday present on Friday. The bad news is that we may be spending an infinite amount of time together as we cross the event horizon so I might wish I had.

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nigh: Common Teutonic: OE. néah, néh = OFris. nei, nî, MDutch na, nae (Dutch na), OS. nâh (MLG. nâge, nâ), OHG. nâh adv., nâher adj. (MHG. nâ, nâh-, nâch, G. nah), ONor. ná- (in combs. like ná-búi neighbour; Sw. and Da. na-), Goth. nêhwa (nêhw): the stem appears to be unrepresented outside Teutonic. OHG. is the only one of the older languages in which a fully developed adjectival use of the word exists along with the adverbial. In OE. there are very scanty traces of adjectival inflexion, néah being commonly employed either as a simple adv. or with a dependent dative: in predicative use it may sometimes be taken as an adjective, but it is more probable that in such cases also it is an adverb. It is not till the 14th or 15th cent. that the attributive use becomes common.

The original comparative of néah as an adv. is néar, néor, near adv.1, while the adj. form néarra finally became ner, nar a. The OE. superlative níe(hook)hst(a is latterly represented by next a. and adv. After phonetic changes had obscured the relationship of these forms to the positive, a new compar. and superl., nigher and nighest, were formed, and have been in common use since the 16th cent.

= near adv.2 and a. (which in all senses has taken the place of nigh except in archaic or dialect use). [Oxford English Dictionary]

You Think Biochemistry Is Hard? Try Being a Philosophy Major

 
Click on the cartoon to see a larger version.

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[Image Credit: bioephemera]
[Hat Tip: Mixing Memory]