You've Been Left Behind is a very special website.
If you are sure that you've led a good Christian life then you can expect to be raptured. This could happen at any time. What about the friends and relative you leave behind? You've Been Left Behind will automatically send out email messages telling everyone where you've gone. It might give them one last chance.
We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.How does it work?
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You can also send information based on scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made.
"WHY" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!
We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.I can foresee a few problems. What if three of the five Christians don't get raptured in spite of the fact that they've led a good Christian life? Maybe God will punish them for trying to scam their fellow Christians? Wouldn't that be a bummer? We might go for a week or so before noticing that some people were missing and by then it may be too late to recant.
We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.
We give you another 100mb. of unencrypted storage that can be sent to up to 50 email addresses, in Box #2. You can edit the documents and the addresses any time. Box #2 is for more generic documents to lost family & friends.
The cost is $40 for the first year. Re-subscription will be reduced as the number of subscribers increases. Tell your friends about You've Been left behind.
What happens if all the ISP technical people get raptured and the server goes down within 48 hours? Have they thought of that? They should make sure that everyone working for the ISP is a heathen and/or an extremely disreputable person. That should also be a requirement for airline pilots, police, and
[Hat Tip: RichardDawkins.net]
[Image credit: The cartoons are from There's a New World Coming by Hal Lindsey. Thanks to Brian Larnder of Primordial Blog for bringing it to my atention (Hallucinogenic Christian Comic). Apparently Brian used to read, and believe, these comics when he was little.]
22 comments :
My problem with this is that even fundamentalist nutters deserve fraud protection.
The part about the victims (customers?) putting all their financial information on their servers does not give me a warm fuzzy.
And I would like to volunteer my services as the the "push send" guy. In the unlikely event there really is a rapture, I'm going to be one of the guys cleaning up the clothes.
I'd heard that in the rapture, people ascend to heaven naked which might help explain why the kid calls it "The Great Snatch".
And is there any reason why every speech bubble has to have so many punctuation marks? Do Good Christians always speak like they're in a melodrama even when they're in print?
I do agree with your point about airline pilots, Larry. We need to ensure that good Christians are restricted from certain jobs that would clearly put the rest of us at risk in the event of the rapture occurring.
I assume we don't even need to fire those Christians currently in these jobs. We just need to publicize this fact and their undoubted saintly qualities should mean they will promptly resign once they realize the danger, rather than expose others to such a risk.
Well, what better demonstration of God's existence could a poor atheist hope for, than to have all the fundamentalists just disappear in a dramatic upward swoosh?
They should hire a buddhist, a jew, a catholic, or a known sinner, as the trigger person; someone that is not eligible for Rapture. That employee monitors the select just men for their rapture status.
Another fault in their system, is that they assume that all their paying customers will be raptured. How embarrassing if the Rapture Event happens, the canned email gets sent, but the sender is amongst the Left Behind !!!
That would be extremely embarassing.
What happens to the patient if the surgeon and nurses get raptured?
On the other hand, going by these pictures you'd see some fine, nubile totty ascending if you position yourself correctly.
I think this site is a scam! I've started an effort to bring this guy down.
See: http://www.youtube.com/user/wevebeenleftbehind
Also, I and many others have already written in to the Federal Trade Commission about this guy and his little mythological BS money generating website. Please do the same! Just google, "Federal Trade Commission Complaints".
Good grief. From that we know that His people are all young, white 70s throw backs and - speaking as a chap - His ladies are buxom.
Tyro, you beat me to it.
Punctuationitis is the infallible sign of a fundamentalist. I once fell foul of the local Neonazis and they gave my blog a thorough comment monstering - mostly ill-spelled sockpuppetry with lots of 'We wil win!!!!!!!' going on.
Why is it the girl in the foreground of the first comic seems to be so sexually aroused? Eyes shut, pursed lips, hips thrust forward...it's a little too much. I'm sure it's my imagination, but could these Christian comics possibly be a substitute for something they're not getting in the material world??????????
(sorry, just keeping with the punctuation trend!!!!!!!!!)
I would agree this is a scam, or at least rather impractical even if the providers are good intentioned. But you seem to be judging all Christians on the basis of this idea.
Would it be wise to base our opinion of scientists on the basis of their work on weight loss pills or those incredible colon detoxifiers?
I doubt anybody feels these products are worth much and are probably scams.
Since they identify themselves as sciencetists, and their product as scientifically proven, does that mean all knowledge identified as scientific is also a scam?
The rapture is a fairly popular belief today, largely due to the books and movies going by the name Left Behind. But this belief isn't held by all Christians, nor is it a core belief.
Unbelievable (and indistinguishable from farce).
On the ABC news site about this (http://www.abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=5029712&page=1)
the website is listed as "brainchild" (sic) of one Mark Heard.
Get a load of this quote:
[site quote...] Heard says it's also a way to pass on financial information to loved ones who remain on earth before God's return.
"The idea started for me in 1999 when I was… trading equities online and trying to think, 'How I can send my password to my wife if the Rapture happened at this moment?'" he said. [end of site quote]
What! The guy opens a website with expectation that his wife will be damned!
-- AE
Well, I'll be damned! ... or not: "I have foreseen this." [/Darth Vader]
His ladies are buxom.
Don't forget that the Rapture Effect carries all involved boobs, a prepackaged part of the ticket sold concurrently over the web.
Then again, if mohammedans gets 72 virgins to play with, a 72 breast augment for his eternal wife is surely the least a US white monogamous male would have coming.
Thanks for the link, Larry. I was wondering too if implants will go in the rapture or if they'll be "left behind".
Also, about the pilot thing... we were told growing up in the church that it was airline policy not to have both a pilot and co-pilot who were born again Christians on the same flight because of this eventuality. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but that is what we were told.
In the box: "There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God."
Really. Does the 'word of the lord' actually go into such detail. Detail, well, like, 6 days or more? Is this the source of the phrase "grace period"?
Is this the period when the believer, but non-fundamentalist, can quickly get onboard and join the upward swoosh? Leaving a paradise of nonbelievers in peace and rational prosperity?
By the way, isn't this an "Outer Limits" episode (except where the Raptured are on some Alien's dinner menu)?
God, this is/would be great fun, were this really comic relief!
In the spirit of Gremlins 2...
1. Does the rapture begin simultaneously worldwide or sequentially according to international time zones?
2. Does god provide an oxygen mask for those ascending above 10,000 ft?
3. For acrophobic individuals, will god switch off their fear response immediately after lift-off?
5. For people who are physically confined underground, or in buildings and vehicles, do they have to wait until they step outside before they can rapture?
6. If a raptured person hangs on to an unraptured person, does the unraptured person get to sneak into heaven?
7. If a raptured person is in Australia, is she going up or down?
8. If a person was raptured while driving in a convertible, will he maintain his horizontal component of velocity on the way up?
9. If one raptured person is carrying a lead ball and another carrying a wooden ball of the same dimensions, will they ascend to heaven at the same rate?
And finally...
10. If one member of a Siamese Twin gets raptured while the other doesn't, what happens?
Lim Leng Hiong: I'd like to see a movie that addresses, vividly, all your questions.
There are times when I wish their rapture would come and get them out of our way so that we could all get on with our lives in peace.
Coturnix said:
"Lim Leng Hiong: I'd like to see a movie that addresses, vividly, all your questions."
This summer...
Rapture Reloaded! (in Technicolor)
An epic thriller about acrophobic Australian Siamese Twins called Billy and Teddy, who were driving from Perth to Darwin in a convertible with Teddy's buxom Buddhist Asian chick girlfriend...
...when SUDDENLY the rapture occurred just as they crossed the time zone underneath a highway overpass!
The Drama!!! The Romance!!!! The Punctuationitis!!!!!
Starring Sam Harris, Ben Stiller and Tia Carrere.
Coming soon to a theatre near you.
What's more likely? That this site is run by very stupid Christians, since the site would cease to function, post-rapture, if it were run by them. Or that it is run by some unholy combination of jews, pagans, atheists and homosexuals. If you think the latter is more likely, why should any self respecting Christian give them their money? They'd take it, and spend it on bad deeds. It's a PLOT. Don't be fooled :0
Larry, I agree that there could be problems such as God seeing this as a scam and punishing them for it, but I'm not the judge of their hearts while I appreciate your sense of humor about this.:) On the other hand, my primary objection is theological. For example, I believe in a rapture but not a pre-tribulation rapture. So there won't be seven years or even six days between the rapture and the Lord's return with the overthrow of the Antichrist. On top of that, I believe that predictive prophecy in the Bible is conditional. So if the Antichrist decides to repent and serve the Lord instead of fulfilling end-time Antichrist prophecy, then there won't be a final great tribulation. All of this makes Left Behind email useless.
James,
I really know better than to ask this, but can't help myself ...
If prophesy is conditional, and you can't predict/measure such conditions, then the prophesy is worthless or at least completely ambiguous, even if you believe that such a prophesy exists.
How logically can you pretend to have an ability to differentiate pre/post/no tribulation raptures??? Or for that matter any of this from some post-fibulation riptide or whatever. Come on. Like so many others, indoctrinated as kids, you should reject this.
AE
AE says, "If prophesy is conditional, and you can't predict/measure such conditions, then the prophesy is worthless or at least completely ambiguous, even if you believe that such a prophesy exists."
Your premise is wrong because the conditions are predictable based upon a change in obedience or disobedience according to Jeremiah 18:5-10 and Ezekiel 33:12-16.
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