I feel somewhat cheated. I mean, were the First and Second Eagles of the Apocalypse otherwise engaged? Have they already been raptured? Normally I'd be pretty excited at the chance to hear an explanation of the dangerous nexus between prophylactics and the end times, but when this middle-management type showed up I was kind of disappointed.
Anyway, the message is clear and it definitely rings true: Have only unprotected sex and you will live forever. Sounds like an evolution of Lutheranism: BY FRICTION ALONE!
What's with the video editing? Notice how cars start crossing the bridge, but suddenly disappear. Is it because the Eagle is having a hard time keeping a straight face while preaching to the sheep?
"In Genesis Ch28, God shows his displeasure with contraception when he KILLS Onan." (Who spelled his seed on the ground.)
So is God now over this seed spilling thing? He doesn't seem to be killing people over this anymore. God sure did have an itching tigger finger back in the day. I guess he's mellowed with age. Or maybe poor Onan caught him on a bad day.
@Anonymous. I guess it must have been a bad day. You'd better not count on him being over it, remember, 'with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Peter 3:8)'. That's not a lot of mellowing time.
This self proclaimed "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" is one huge maroon. Someone needs to introduce him to logic, reason and common sense.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually more afraid of rupture; condom rupture. That's really TERRIFYING!
ReplyDeleteWell shit.
ReplyDeleteHe's right. People who use condoms won't be raptured. OTOH, neither will people who don't use condoms....
ReplyDeleteOooh, I miss Canadian Cynic!
ReplyDeletePay no attention to that low-ranking buffoon. I am the Fourth Porcupine of the Apocalypse. My word is law.
ReplyDeleteHey, where are you going? Stop that! Come back here! Listen to me!
W O W...he must be tal k ing to a bunch of id i ots.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time since I heard anyone speak like that. Well, I guess he must feel that he has to do that to reach his people.
I feel somewhat cheated. I mean, were the First and Second Eagles of the Apocalypse otherwise engaged? Have they already been raptured? Normally I'd be pretty excited at the chance to hear an explanation of the dangerous nexus between prophylactics and the end times, but when this middle-management type showed up I was kind of disappointed.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the message is clear and it definitely rings true: Have only unprotected sex and you will live forever. Sounds like an evolution of Lutheranism: BY FRICTION ALONE!
Hm, the nutcase doesn't immediately look like the wanker he is!
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the video editing? Notice how cars start crossing the bridge, but suddenly disappear. Is it because the Eagle is having a hard time keeping a straight face while preaching to the sheep?
ReplyDelete@shonny. Surely he can't be a wanker or he wouldn't be around to preach! His loving god has a treatment for that.
ReplyDelete"In Genesis Ch28, God shows his displeasure with contraception when he KILLS Onan." (Who spelled his seed on the ground.)
He is an "Eagle of the Apocalypse"?!! hahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the entertainment. Seriously, though, keep up the good work.
@BloodyNose. No, those truck drivers were being 'raptured'.
ReplyDelete"In Genesis Ch28, God shows his displeasure with contraception when he KILLS Onan." (Who spelled his seed on the ground.)
ReplyDeleteSo is God now over this seed spilling thing? He doesn't seem to be killing people over this anymore. God sure did have an itching tigger finger back in the day. I guess he's mellowed with age. Or maybe poor Onan caught him on a bad day.
@Anonymous. I guess it must have been a bad day. You'd better not count on him being over it, remember, 'with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Peter 3:8)'. That's not a lot of mellowing time.
ReplyDeleteLOL, I keep having this vision of some naked guy, drawn up off his wife and into the air yelling, "Thank God I wasn't wearing a condom!" :D
ReplyDelete